When I was granted my Kenan Fellowship, I knew that it was going to be an amazing opportunity, but I never really thought about how much, and on what levels, it was going to change me as a professional. I honestly think that the Kenan Fellowship happened at the perfect time (hello, COVID) because I really do not know if I would have stayed in teaching this year. I am sure that is not what a Kenan Fellow is “supposed to say”, but after a year of COVID teaching, I had a very hard time trying to remember why I was “in the classroom.” I had started to job search and look for at other options…then Cullowhee happened. I came back after 5 days ready to be back in my classroom and find new ways to get through the “new norm.”
One way in which this fellowship has changed me is how I work with my school community. I have always been present and positive, but after the vibe and support I have received from my fellowship, I have done intentional school community support and communication. I want to change the environment of my school building and let other teachers know that it is okay to come to me if they need help or social and emotional support. I have put stickers and candies in the teacher common areas with positive affirmations for them to grab. I have changed and altered verbiage when working in a group to make it more intentional and inclusive, and I have intentionally gone out of my way to try to learn from my equity group and be a more active member in certain school organizations.
I have also really spent time to reach out to different resources to expand my instructional material. When it comes to CTE and Agriculture, I have always felt like I had to stay within a bubble and deliver my tested material for the state exam. After my short time with the Kenans, I have spent the time to search and find fun and new ways to deliver material and assess understanding. I feel like I have changed my way of thinking and I am slowly moving out of my comfort zone for differentiating my lessons.
The last way I have changed is how I hold the view of myself professionally. When I first was granted this fellowship, I assumed I got it because I fit into the “DPS CTE Cluster for Biotechnology” perfectly and that they went with me because I was the obvious choice. There have been moments of fear and inadequate related feelings that have led me to tell myself that I really do not belong in this amazing program, and that I just need to get through it without anyone realizing that I am not really Kenan material. I have changed how I feel about myself in this situation and I have allowed myself to join conversations that would have intimidated me earlier on in my program and internship.