The first day of my externship was EXTREMELY overwhelming. It was about 9 hours of vocabulary and procedures that were way over my head. I came home feeling defeated and I honestly, for a lack of a better term, felt very stupid.

After talking with the other people in my lab, we all realized that none of us knew exactly what was going on. The truth is we were not supposed to know exactly what was going on. None of us got our degree in microbiology, but that is not what we were there in this lab for on that day.

I started to think about my students. Did they feel the way I felt when I was not understanding every vocabulary word and every procedure? Most likely.

I realized that I was going to have to lose in order to gain. I am not the person that wants to admit that I do not understand something fully or that I need some help. I need to lose the walls I have built up in order to gain valuable wisdom for my students and myself to continue being a lifelong learner.

The next couple days went much easier once I knew that it was alright to ask questions, to ask for something to be explained again, to clarify, etc.

I really hope to lose the walls of fear I have built up over the years in order to gain renewal, new strength for my classroom, and a heightened sense of community in the Triangle area.