Emotional Phases of PD

Throughout the Kenan Fellows Program I have encountered many different experiences that have provided me with opportunities to feel successful, changed, excited, defeated, inspired, frustrated, and driven. Each of these feelings represents a phase that I went through while attending professional development and my externship. After attending the first PD I was very excited about all that was in store for me and the new learning and friendships that I had formed while in Cullowhee. It was an amazing week full of learning new tools and people that could inspire my own teaching and education career. During the second PD we were given more time to work through our projects and share ideas with other fellows and this seemed to be quite overwhelming at times but we all came away with great feedback that motivated us to continue working harder. Some of the words such as  defeated, changed, and frustrated, can often be seen as only negative feelings and at the at the time they were but they eventually turned into positive. These feelings that I experienced throughout allowed me to push and challenge myself to think differently. At the last PD I started to feel defeated and frustrated about the state of education in NC and I was unclear about how I could begin to turn things around. However after listening to each person talk about how we can actually make a difference I started to feel inspired and driven to actually take some actions to help teachers and students in NC.

Feeling some of these emotions throughout my externship and professional development gave me a chance to look at learning through the eyes of a student again and realize the importance of feeling challenged, frustrated, and defeated. These so-called negative feelings were the things that drove me to feeling successful, changed, excited, and inspired. When entering my fellowship I was truly excited about the opportunities and learning that would take place throughout the next two years. Little did I know that during each part of professional development I would encounter so many educators that are working towards the same goals and have a deep passion for making others (both in and out of education) see the importance of providing the best education we can for not only students but also for teachers. It is strange to think that our face to face interactions with all fellows during PD has come to an end and I wish that we were going to have more opportunities to continue to learn from one another and other leaders but I am very grateful for the time that we have had together.