Perseverance

When I submitted the last two components for National Board Certification (NBCT) last May I thought I was as good as certified. I was confident that my writing would reflect clear, consistent, and convincing work. Little did I know I would be disappointed when my scores were released. I scored a perfect 4 for component 2 and a 1.250 for component 3. I was so proud and so heartbroken, all at the same time. I cried for a whole week because I felt like a failure. I couldn’t believe it, I was beside myself. I felt like there was a sign across my forehead labeling me a, “Loser.” When I was done feeling sorry for myself I thought about the advice I would give my daughter, friends, or students. I would tell them to persevere and not give up on their dreams. So why did it seem like the end of the world when I did not succeed?
So here I am attempting component 3 for a second time, at a new school, with a new mentor, and new students. My mentor is a NBCT and so are about 10 teachers at my new school. I do not have my own classroom of children so I have to borrow those of a friend. I spent weeks planning and scripting a lesson that I just knew would be perfect for my kinders….and it was a giant disaster! Children were falling asleep on the carpet and they did not know how to role play (something I thought all kids naturally knew how to do). Some were telling me that subtraction was addition and I even had one child who was running around on the carpet, not listening to my instructions. The cherry on top was when we used cubes to model a subtraction word problem and the kiddos were playing and not listening to me at all. That was supposed to be the perfect video that demonstrated how I sequence information, create a safe environment, where students want to collaborate with me and their peers. Last night as I watched the video I didn’t feel very much like an accomplished teacher. I felt disillusioned and defeated, like I would never reach National Board Certification.

Today, I am “back on the horse” again planning and scripting my next video. You see, what kind of person or teacher would I be if I didn’t try all over again? It just wouldn’t be me! I am the hardest working teacher I know and I won’t be bested by National Board or anything else! I am a winner and I will be a National Board Certified Teacher! However, there are some things I must learn that will mold me into a NBCT I always thought I would be. Until then, I will continue to plan engaging lessons, videotape, reflect and persevere because that’s what this process is all about; never giving up!