What a whirlwind! Yesterday I got in my car with Taylar (who I had only met once before this) and took the four and a half hour drive out to Cullowhee and NCCAT. As two teachers teaching the same grade level, both in their hometowns, we had a ton to talk about and passed the time easily. When we finally arrived at NCCAT we met Jennifer, the third and final member of our team and I couldn’t help but feel that the Kenan Fellows staff had matched us perfectly!
I am really excited to work with these two awesome ladies at the Museum this summer. However, I am super nervous about having to go with the flow through this project. Since being accepted into the Kenan Fellows Program way back in April I have been looking all around and waiting anxiously to get more information. Unfortunately, the information that I crave comes just a little at a time. I learned at our opening session yesterday that the Kenan Fellows staff is doing this on purpose and that their plan is to make me go with the flow! The idea is that by providing less structure, my experience will be more organic and I will be able to grow in ways that I have not previously considered. I get that. In fact, I do the same thing to my students all of the time.
As a teacher, I understand that too much structure can suffocate real learning. I trust that when given the space to explore new ideas, my students will make meaningful discoveries and connections that stick with them for a lifetime. I have seen this happen again and again. In theory, the loose structure of my fellowship will allow me, the learner, the same opportunity for meaningful discoveries and connections that I strive to give my students. In practice, it scares me. I am the type of person that likes to have everything planned out. The more I know about what is going to happen, the better I feel. Better yet, the more I am in control, the better I feel. Embarking on such an open-ended experience and trusting in the process is going to be a real challenge for me. From challenge, comes growth. I know that too.
While I currently feel uncomfortable facing the uncertainty of what’s coming, I know that this next year of my life will teach me a lot about myself and make me a better teacher. I am hopeful that this experience will grow my confidence as a leader in my profession as well. I am certain after meeting Taylar, Jennifer, and many of the other Fellows that I have a lot to gain from these people. The variety of experiences and knowledge that the Kenan Fellows staff has collected in this group of teachers amazes me. I cannot even imagine the number of new things I will know and be able to do after spending a year interacting with these people. In short, I am scared, nervous, excited, hopeful, and ready to get started!
Me, Jennifer, and Taylar (left to right)
Team Dirt 2015
Jennifer, Me, Allie, and Taylar (left to right) Team Dirt + our traditional fellow friend at NCCAT
Jennifer, Me, Allie, and Taylar (left to right)
*This was posted days after being written due to internet connection issues at NCCAT
Courtney, thanks for being so candid about your desire for structure, control, and knowing what the plan is. And thank you for recognizing that the approach we are taking is similar to what you sometimes do with your students–provide them with opportunities to make their own connections. That said, we do have some pretty well defined outcomes that we hope to realize from the program. These are articulated in our logic model, which I briefly referenced in my short presentation last week. I will ask Lisa and Craig to share this with the group. While it doesn’t provide specifics, it should help you see the areas we hope to positively impact as a result of the work in the KFP.
Learning to relinquish some control is a huge area of need for me. I desire detail to a degree that is somewhat troubling and am working on lessening that need both personally and professionally. I know that only good things will come from this experience and am already seeing the benefits of the Kenan Fellows structure!